Two steps forward.... Seventeen steps back.
Yeah. That's how I feel sometimes. It's ever so frustrating. Just when I get all my poo together and we're doing great, something so small happens and it's like the end of the world.
It took 6 weeks for Matti's self esteem to go away so I'm not sure why I think I could change it in such a short amount of time. I've seen significant progress in her since I pulled her out of school, it's just those little things she hasn't quite got back yet that seems to kill us the most.
Today, a simple math problem. As soon as the word "MATH" comes up she goes into melt down mode! What the crap?!? Seriously?! She was at the top of her class! And now just the thought of addition and subtraction sends her to tears! We worked on multiplication first (Thank you Life Christian Academy for providing this online school for us, we really do LOVE it!!) and when she saw it she just panicked! So I started asking her "Why?!?" She knows she tested low in it when they tested her at the school here. And don't get me started on that. I'm still pretty pissed that she told me "Yeah, such and such said you wanted me in 4th grade so they're testing me to see if I can." URGH! The last thing I wanted was for my daughter to know she was being tested for this stuff. And if she was going to know, I wanted to be the one to tell her and explain it to her.... Back to the original subject... I've got to find a way to get her confidence back up. Once sentence she's upset because math is "too hard" then the next sentence she thinks she's having to do baby math because she's reviewing stuff! This poor girl is all over the place. I'm actually considering talking to the doctor and getting her a counselor.
So here's the thing about me and blogging... It takes me (sometimes over 24 hours) forever to actually post these. And I'm not sure I want to always post the links. Not that I don't want you guys to read this, but do you really care that I'm blogging about a "Matti meltdown" and not some beautiful place?? We'll see. I'll just leave this in my blog and see how many of you actually do read it and then you can feedback for me!
And update, tho. Matti did great after we sat and talked a lot. She was kind of on a slippery slope this morning when it was time to start her work. But I think she really wants to do it alone but I really need to be sitting with her and reading/explaining more as we go along. Which, I don't mind. This is what I wanted to do. So maybe we're not seventeen steps back right now. We're more like seven.
Until next time.... Ciao!
Umm, I care. I actually care more about a Matti Meltdown than some pretty place you've been. So, yeah. And I actually read this blog, and I am replying, so I think you should cater to your readers. This reader. Piss on the rest of them. (Kidding. I think.)
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