Where did the time go?
Really? Where did it go?
It's funny to me. Time. Everyone says "If I have time." "I don't have enough time." "Man, time stands still." Or..."Oh my gosh. Time flies. Where did the time go?"
Chris made the comment the other day in the kitchen, "Can you believe we've been here for almost 6 months? Seems like we JUST got here."
UMMMMM.... Yeah. It seems like we've been here for 6 YEARS to me. He says it's because I don't get out and do anything. I, of course, completely disagree with him. Maybe that's why time DOESN'T fly for me and it seems like we've been here for such a long time. Because I actually do a lot.
I have a pretty busy schedule when you think about it. For all those naysayers who think us SAHM or homeschool moms don't do anything, I'd like them to spend a day in my shoes. I get up in the mornings and hit the gym. It opens at 5:30 but I have to be back at home by 6:30. Now, NO, I don't do that all the time...but at one point I was doing that 5 days a week and then still running on Saturday's or Sunday's around Mariani (our neighborhood). If it wasn't for my recent health problems, I would have never quit. So my day starts at 5:30. When I get home I do my Pilates and then get ready for the day. Sometimes I'm done with Pilates in 30 minutes, sometimes 45. Just depends. Then I homeschool.
Homeschooling. What a reward. Probably one of the hardest jobs I have ever had. And I'm not sure why I allow what other people think to define my life and who I am. Homeschooling is just different. It's different than anything I expected it to be. I've watched my kids excel in their studies. And it's an AMAZING thing to see. Think back... when your child came home from school and was reading. Or they were doing multiplication tables. SOMEONE sat down and taught them that. And it's HARD. Remember potty training?? Yeah. It's like that. Your first one was a pain! Took months! The second one was a breeze! That's how homeschooling is. Not saying teaching in schools isn't like that (because imagine having a room full of potty trainees...15 of them) but when it's your own child, it's scary. LOL. Not that it isn't scary as a school teacher, but at some point, you pass the child off to their parents and the parents have to step in and take over. Which is another thing I think is hilarious in all of this. Everyone wants to rave about "socialization." "OOOOhhh... you're poor children. They won't have any friends. They won't learn how to overcome hard issues in their lives if you don't allow them to go to school!" Apparently the only way a child will learn how to correctly interact with their "peers" is to go sit in a classroom with them 8 hours a day. But ya know what, last time I checked, the parents are the ones who TAUGHT their children how to act around other human beings. And not only that...but to act around dogs. And cats. And ... oh my gosh.. bugs! Seriously. Think about it. "Socialization" is all about how someone acts, participates in their own society. Right? How to talk to other people. How you treat other people. How you handle really tough situations. So please explain to me how they are taught that in school from a teacher. Not saying a teacher doesn't contribute to it.. but from the time your child first starts interacting in this world, you're the one there doing it. What happened when your toddler told you "NO!" for the first time? Did you run them into a school building and ask a teacher what to do? No, you didn't. YOU, the parent, taught them NO, you can't say that! Or when they fought with their sister or brother. Or with a friend who has a kid kind of the same age. THE PARENTS taught them that. They should be socialized BEFORE they start school. And, BTW, taking my children out of school here hasn't hurt them in any way, shape, or form. Matter of fact, I believe it has helped them GROW as individuals. And they are being SOCIALIZED with not only kids their age (::gasp:: what a shocker, huh?? Kids their OWN AGE) but with kids younger, older, and of a completely different culture!!! Could I homeschool them forever? YES. Absolutely. I would love that. Am I going to? No. Why? Because I'm HAPPY with my school at home. I agree with the teaching methods, the way the school is ran, with the school in general. I'm happy at home. I'm NOT happy here. I wasn't happy with what was offered to my children. And since I couldn't pick a different school system, I chose the best thing. ME. So remember when you start talking bad about homeschooling, you're talking bad about my children's teacher. And I take great offense to that. Especially when you have no idea what goes on in my "classroom." Which by the way, isn't in a room with a bunch of desks with a chalkboard. Today it was outside on our patio and then inside in our "tent" under the table. And it's also up on the top of Mt. Etna because we're learning about how rocks are formed. And guess what, some rocks are formed by volcanoes. The hot MAGMA is inside the earth. When it flows out of the volcano it's called LAVA. And those big black rocks that we picked up and held in our hands that we called "lava rock" is actually BASALT. Yeah, maybe your child already knew that. And they got to hold a piece of basalt in their hands in their classroom... but my kids learned about it and was on an ACTIVE volcano when they did. To me, that's reason enough to homeschool while I'm here. So off my homeschooling rant. I know. But that's who I am. And it's a very hard job. Especially when I'm not getting the support I need here to do it. But I'm not backing down. And I've decided to put my name in the pot for the board of the homeschool group here in Sigonella. I told them I'm even willing to be named President of the Sigonella Homeschoolers. Then I'd actually have to "play nice" with people. Eeeek. That might not be such a good thing!
So I deal with that every day. 3rd grade and PreK. It's fun tho. And it's great 1 on 1 time or even 2 on 1 time with the girls. We learn a lot together. Then every Mon & Wed we all pack up and head to Matti's ballet class. That's from 4:00-5:30. Chrissy is in gymnastics from 4:30-5:30 on Tues & Thurs. And of course we have to have dinner after that. We also squeeze in grocery shopping either at the commissary or out in town. We've gone to the Italian grocery stores and we've also gone to the actual "farmers" markets. The kids love that because last week, on our way home, they got to eat the big juicy strawberries we just bought. Along with groceries, I'm doing laundry, cooking meals, cleaning the house. Ya know, the stuff everyone else does. Or most everyone else. We volunteer at the FFSC when we can. We also go to the library. We have as many play dates as possible.
Here lately we haven't gotten to do as much. Which is ultimately why I'm blogging. I'm going to have an EGD done tomorrow morning. Not that it's a big procedure or anything. But it still scares me. And this is the first time I'm doing it alone. No family around. My good friend is taking me though. And I can't thank her enough. And another good friend will watching the kids for us. Which is another blessing. My children won't do any schooling tomorrow, BUT they'll be "socializing" with other kids and visiting a butterfly farm. HOW COOL IS THAT?? (Yay for field trips!) Chris has a motorcycle course he has to take. So he can't be there. And that's one of the things that scares me the most. He knows how my body works. And most people don't understand how hard this stuff is on me until they experience it. And he won't be there to help me if it's bad. It's just scary.
(I'm crying now so I'm going to add more emotional stuff into this). I wanted to hop on a plane and head back to the states this past week. I would have if it wasn't for my EGD tomorrow. Friday is LCA's senior graduation. The seniors graduating this year are like my "babies." I became SO CLOSE to so many of them while I was there. I can't even believe they're graduating. I had wanted to fly home and surprise them all at graduation. There's a flight heading to the states tomorrow, too. I really wish I was heading to the airport instead of the hospital. It was hard not being there for all the homecomings, senior trip, junior/senior prom... but not being there for graduation is just like punch in the gut. I can't get the knot out of my throat when I think about it. I just have to let the tears fall.
We all have the same amount of time in the day. We have 24 hours. How we choose to spend that is entirely on ourselves. It's about your priorities. Not all are the same. And that's not a bad thing, at all. It's just different. I love how Facebook has changed a lot of peoples lives. Some for better, some for worse. Mine has turned "for worse" here lately. Not in the "why you talkin to her? Who is she??" kind of crap, but in the "look at what I'm missing at home" sort of way. It's hard being so far away from your family and friends and missing out on what's going on. When you're surrounded by those people, you don't think about the ones who aren't there. Sure, I post pictures or write about what's going on in our lives over here A LOT, but it's because I'm trying to help my family & friends see what we're doing. It makes me feel closer to them. It helps me stay connected. But it's different when they don't do the same. I'm not blaming them or pointing fingers AT ALL. I get it. You're at a birthday party, you status update it, but that's it. No pictures. Why? Because everyone is there. And you forget. You're busy. TIME has flown by. And because of that, I'm starting to get worse. I'm getting sad. I know what it's like to have a BFF move away. Slowly the phone calls, emails, text message start to go away. And that makes me sad. I'm learning how to "let go." But the bad thing is, I don't want to learn to let go. I still want to be there. And right now when I see the status updates or even the pictures when they are posted, I cry. I cry because I'm missing it. Because in a year I don't want the phone calls, the emails, the text messages to go away. I don't want to become so busy that I "don't have time."
Which really comes back to the beginning ... Where did the time go?
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