Andiamo in chiaro una cosa......

Let's get one thing straight....

I have been corrected on numerous occasions about saying "I'm moving to Italy!"  Even tho I'm technically moving to Italy, I need to clairfy I'm moving to SICILY.  When you google it, it says "Sigonella, Sicily, Italy" but according to those who know, Sicillians do not like to be referred as Italians and vice versa.  SO.  Yeah.  Even though I'm going to learn to speak Italian, I will be in Sicily.  NOT Italy.

Ok, moving along.  It has been pretty overwhelming the past week thinking about our future.  We've gone from selling the house to not selling the house.  Selling all our vehicles to only selling my truck and fixing up our little beater car and taking that with us.  For me, the excitement of moving to the dread of what's about to happen.

I'm not the best at change.  I can handle it, but prefer for it to stay the same.  Thinking about being so far away from family is terrifying.  It brings a lot of questions to your head.  What is going to be like not being able to call my mom when I need her help?  Or go over to my Papa's anytime I want to see him?  Will he survive until I get back?  What if he passes while I'm there, will I be able to afford to come home??  Then you switch to your kids... Will they adjust? Will Matti enjoy meeting new friends?  Will Chrissy be able to go to school?  What will it be like when we get back?  How much will I change?  And on and on and on.

I haven't found a way to shut off my brain yet.  I'm not getting much sleep because I'll think of something and google it.  Then the next thing you know it's 3am and you have to be up in 4 hours.  It just really stinks.  Time is flying and we don't even have an actual set of orders in our hand. 

I think one of the hardest parts about the whole thing is understanding how Chris is feeling and him understanding my feelings.  I NEED to talk about it.  I NEED to express my ups and downs.  He DOESN'T.  Nor do I think he truly understands what I need from him.  I don't think I truly understand it either.  I do know, we're going to grow as a couple and a family. 

Fino alla prossima volta.....